Bullshit. Personally, I am far happier on a day-to-day basis thanks to these technological tools. They have added considerable love, meaning, joy, and value to my life. With their help, I’ve been able to offer nurturing and support to far more people I care about than ever would have been possible otherwise.

So I wasn’t surprised when a recent Pew study found that 85% of adult who use social networking sites say that people are mostly kind. Also, 68% reported they’d had a experience on social media that made them feel good about themselves, and 61% had experiences that made them feel closer to another person.

I know I’m not alone in this…

OK, yes: Sometimes Twitter, e-mail, blogs, instant messaging, text messages, and Facebook can be annoying and overwhelming. Sometimes they really piss me off, or bring me heartache. Sometimes I ignore them for days at a time, especially when I’m chilling out at my mountain cabin. But for the most part, they have connected me more closely to the people I love, and to several new communities. They’ve sparked and fostered new friendships, and have brought many amazing people into my world.

These tools have helped me virtually eliminate loneliness from my life. And I know what it feels like to feel acutely lonely.

In 1995, when I relocated from the east coast to Boulder, Colorado, I only knew one person there. I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to that town or job, so I moved out by myself for a trial run. My then-boyfriend stayed behind in NJ, and I rented a month-to-month furnished apartment. My job quickly drove me crazy, but I fell in love with the town.

The hard part was: While I was there alone, I was starved for regular friendly conversation and connection.

I didn’t immediately strike up any friendships with my new coworkers. I saw my one local friend only rarely. I’d go to bars, coffeeshops, the Pearl St. Mall, and music venues and strike up conversations with strangers — but nothing turned into more than a brief polite exchange of pleasantries.

Yes, I’d talk on the phone to my boyfriend most days, and I did many lovely solo hikes in the Flatirons on the edge of town.

But the vast majority of those five months before my boyfriend joined me in Colorado, I felt deeply, achingly lonely. I actually got depressed. I cried a lot, and felt fragile much of the time. Moving across the country was disorienting enough, but that loneliness was torture for me. Even though I was growing to love Boulder, even though I had lots of cool stuff to do and books to read, even though I never wanted to return to the east coast — not having people to talk to for such a long stretch was unexpectedly stressful.

I didn’t realize how social a person I am until conversation and connection became scarce luxuries.

To be honest, I was motivated to start the e-mail discussion group for the Society of Environmental Journalists during those months mostly because I needed to experience some kind of regular conversation and connection to community. (17 years later, that list is still going strong.) My dialup internet connection became an emotional lifeline.

This was before cell phones became popular — so when I’d go out to places, try to socialize, and usually not succeed, I’d end up feeling more isolated than ever. Often, I’d give up early and flee to my hotel-like apartment. I couldn’t wait to call someone who knew me. My long distance bills were staggering.

As the web became more popular and robust, online forums and sites like LiveJournal provided me with new ways to connect with new communities.

It took me years to build a strong network of friends in Colorado. And now that I’ve been in the Bay Area for three years, I still connect every day with many of my Colorado friends — mainly via social media and e-mail. I know what’s going on in their lives, I know what makes them laugh or grumble, I see their surroundings, I hear their observations and questions. I watch their kids grow up.

And in late 2008 my marriage was ending, I was feeling broken and I really needed to be somewhere else for at least a few months. So one evening while at The Cup in Boulder, I posted a few tweets seeking suggestions for where I could go. That sparked to an immediate response from my friend Susan Mernit, who said “Come to Oakland! I have a room you can stay in!”

That’s how I ended up in the Bay Area — not just for a few troubled months, but for a few wonderful years. Those tweets were the key to rebuilding my life, on my terms.

I also have a very large network of professional colleagues in media and technology, many of whom have become friends to varying degrees. Social media and digital communication have allowed me to foster those connections and make them meaningful and mutually rewarding. I get the opportunity to help and support people every day, and I get to ask for help and support anytime I need it. And I get to laugh. A lot.

And when I’m feeling grumpy or depressed, a usually reliable cure is to hop on social media, see what the people I’m connected with there are saying, and respond to them. It usually doesn’t take long for me to get out of my own head and shake my mood, and then get on with my day refreshed — or sometimes even inspired.

I also get value from people who I don’t know personally. From actor/director George Takei’s pithy, incisive Facebook humor, to people who post to the Salvador Dali tag and more, these missives offer an element of connection that goes beyond mere broadcasting.

Some of the people I’m closest to, like my boyfriend of nearly three years, are an intrinsic part of my ambient digital environment. I leave instant messenger up when I’m online, and we converse off and on throughout the day — in short bursts, no pressure to interrupt our work or commandeer each other’s attention. We each get to do what we need to do, while connecting companionably. It feels good. It feels human. It’s real. And it’s manageable.

Mobile technology has added a new dimension to my sense of personal connection — mostly by sharing text and photo messages with people I know, but also through social media.

For instance, I love to explore my surroundings, and I often take my Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Foursquare and Tumblr connections along with me on photo walks (all at the same time, via PicPlz). Last weekend I went for a lovely walk up and down the staircases of Telegraph Hill in San Francisco. And while I’m out on the walk, people from around the country and sometimes even the world chime in with appreciation, questions, and snark — which all makes it more fun for me.

And when I’m having a hard time, like when I recently had a major disappointment in love (not with my longtime boyfriend, we’re solid; but another friend-turned-lover broke my heart pretty badly last month — yes, I’m poly, deal with it) my friends were really there for me, every day, both in person and via private digital communications.

On this front I had an unexpected happy surprise: I’ve developed a much deeper and mutually rewarding friendship with someone who before was only a casual friend, thanks to private conversations we had about my breakup via Facebook Messenger. I never liked Facebook Messenger before, but this time that particular channel made a huge difference in how I recovered from a wrenching experience. And it also helped my friend heal more from her own breakup, too.

Meanwhile, I found it helpful to mostly disconnect on social media from my fickle former lover. Right after I had to break up with him, seeing him keep popping up casually in my ambient daily digital environment was painful. I hope that eventually he and I may re-establish some sort of friendship — and if so I would re-establish those social media connections. But this breakup experience helped crystallize the key role that digital communication and social media play in my relationships and emotional life. There are definitely tradeoffs. Sometimes you must unfriend.

Currently I’m planning another relocation. I’ve been in the Bay Area for three years, and while I’ve enjoyed it, this just isn’t home to me. So I’ll be moving to another state in spring. Most likely I’ll return to Colorado, which still feels like home — but so many people have told me that Portland would suit me well, I’m traveling there in March to give it a closer look.

Originally I discounted Portland, since I know just a few people there and still have vivid bad memories of moving to a new place and having to start a social network completely from scratch. But today, anywhere I’d move to, the people I care about and get value from would all be coming along with me. They’ll even be right in the palm of my hand. Also, it’s much easier to find and converse with people in other places, which makes it easier to construct new real-world social networks when you move. I’ve gotta say, this really changes the emotional calculus of a major geographical shift.

I realize that for some people, social media and digital communications offer little value or a mostly negative experience. You can leave yourself open to cutting attacks that leave you reeling, sometimes in public. Misunderstandings, drivel, and carelessness abound. Boundaries get transgressed, and feelings get hurt. I’ve experienced all of these, from both sides.

I’ve decided to just roll with it, since the value of these connections outweigh the inevitable bumps, missteps, and occasional overload. And when I need to disconnect, I can — and that’s easy. There’s this thing called the off switch…

My life is better, and my world is richer, on a very human level, thanks to digital technology. Without these tools I couldn’t do the work I do, I probably wouldn’t have been able to be successfully self-employed for nearly 15 years, and I wouldn’t have the breadth and depth of personal connections that I now consider one of the greatest treasures in my life.

And I know I’m not alone in this.

Associated Press opens news bureau in North Korea | World news | guardian.co.uk.

…As if the news business wasn’t already Kafkaesque. Well, AP is an appropriate choice for this. 

Having done some critical coverage of several boneheaded AP strategies in digital media over the last few years, I think they see eye to eye with NK regarding the dangers of criticism, and how to respond to it.

I’m not kidding: See the response from Paul Colford, AP’s director of media relations, to a 2010 KDMC story I wrote about the controversial AP News Registry program

Here’s a great example of adaptability: How the much reviled flavor-of-the-month web startup Chatroulette has found a way to make money off its inevitable tide of exhibitionists:

Fast Company: Chatroulette Founder Andrey Ternovskiy Raises New Funding: “50,000 Naked Men”

“Chatroulette can’t fully wean itself off nudity yet. “You’ll still see some naked men, about one every hour,” Ternovskiy says. Of the roughly 500,000 visitors Chatroulette receives daily, about 10% are males itching to show their business. So Ternovskiy parlays that business into profit.

“Everyday, about 50,000 new men are trying to get naked,” he says. “What we’re doing is selling the naked men to a couple of websites–it’s an investment for us.”

When users flag someone enough times for indecent behavior (by clicking a button), the offender is automatically transferred to a partner site. Thanks to deals with adult dating services like FriendFinder.com, Chatroulette is earning cash hand over fist from the referral traffic.

“Basically, once we detect a person is naked, he’ll be kicked from our service to another website,” Ternovskiy says. ”So, we’re actually getting revenue from naked men right now.”

Brisbane asked NYT readers: “I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge ‘facts’ that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.”

This led to consternation from many Times readers, who believed this kind of revelation is part of the basic job of any news organization. GigaOm’s Mathew Ingram offered a good roundup of the flap, and at The Guardian Clay Shirky wrote an eloquent deeper exploration of the mindset disconnect between the Times and its readers.

Many people are debating the ethical implications of this issue. However, I’m wondering about the practicalities and possible opportunities.

If the NYT (or any news organization) does decide to point out when sources offer inaccurate “facts,” HOW might they accomplish that? Might there be good options, especially online, that could serve this purpose in addition to inserting relevant text into stories?…

I’m wondering about tools that might visually or otherwise flag to a web reader when a factual assertion has caveats — such as it’s probably not true, or could be stretching the point, or is a conflation, or lack corroboration or sourcing, etc.

It just seems to me that especially in digital media we might be able to do with some of the nuances of gradations of truth in ways that go beyond mere words on a page.

Your thoughts? Please comment below or e-mail me. Offer examples of potential strategies or tools, if you know of any. I plan to use this information in a post to the Knight Digital Media Center site, so expect to be quoted.

Thanks!

Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Santorum Google screenshot

When you Google for "Santorum," this is the top search result. (Click to enlarge - but only if you're not too squeamish.) You can help keep this brilliant effort working.

It’s time to use my power for good.

Yesterday NPR reported on how the batshit crazy social conservative former US senator Rick Santorum is pulling ahead in Republican polls for the presidential race.

Santorum has always annoyed and amused me. But with this, he’s officially scaring me.

Today, Marketplace Tech Report reminded me about Rick Santorum’s Google problem — so I decided to take action.

So here I am linking to SpreadingSantorum.com, a Google bombing page that writer Dan Savage set up in 2003.

Furthermore I encourage everyone else to do likewise.  Especially if you’ve had your own web site or blog under its own domain name for several years. But even if your only online presence is via a third-party service like Facebook, WordPress.com, or Tumblr (where you don’t have your own domain), I still encourage you to post a link to SpreadingSantorum.com.

Talk about a long-term investment in search visibility that is REALLY paying off! Here’s how it works…

When a website or page has been on the web and attracting links for several years, Google promotes it in search results so it ends up near or at the top of the first results page for relevant Google searches. This ultimately raises the destination site’s Google PageRank — especially when it’s linked to by sites with PageRank that exceed its own.

So far, SpreadingSantorum.com has a PageRank of 5 — but it’s already showing up at the top of Google searches for the term Santorum. (See screenshot at the top of this post.)

My site, Contentious.com, has been online and publishing fairly continuously since 1997. I currently have a PageRank of 6 (out of a possible 10 points). Not to be self-congratulatory, but that’s pretty good for a blog run by one person. That’s the power of a site being online under the same domain for nearly 15 years.

This also means that when I link to other sites with a lower PageRank, my inbound link helps their search visibility in Google. Right now, SpreadingSantorum.com has a PageRank of 5. So in fact, my inbound link helps this site maintain its search visibility.

Why link to SpreadingSantorum.com now? 

Now that Santorum is pulling ahead (however moderately) in Republican polls, it’s likely that Republicans and social conservatives — who have a pretty good track record for unified action — will try to undermine SpreadingSantorum.com‘s search visibility by linking like crazy to the official Santorum campaign site. (Yes, I am deliberately NOT linking to that site here.)

Also, mainstream news sites, political bloggers, and others are especially likely to link more often to the official Santorum campaign site, now that his viability as a candidate is increasing. (I’m gonna go wash my hands, now that I’ve typed that sentence, ick…)

All of this means that this brilliant social/political/search hack is currently under threat and needs your support. So link now, and keep linking! The more links on more days from more sites, the better!

What kind of power do your links wield?

Here’s how to check PageRank for your site or any site:

• Google Chrome users: I use this Chrome Pagerank addon. It displays the PageRank of any page displayed in my browser.
• Google toolbar users: If you use Internet Explorer or Firefox, here’s how to view PageRank in the toolbar. (Install Google toolbar)
• Safari users: There’s a Safari PageRank addon.
• Everyone else: You can check PageRank by pasting the URL for any site or page at CheckPageRank.net.

GO FORTH AND LINK TO SPREADINGSANTORUM.COM! And do your part to undermine an increasingly powerful politician who denies evolution (and thinks scientists are amoral), wants to eliminate birth control and opposes abortion rights (thus indicating he thinks women’s most important role is as an ambulatory incubator for male sperm), and who has compared homosexual sex to bestiality and child rape.

Yeah. Really. No kidding. Batshit crazy has no business in government — especially in the White House.

I realize this perspective flies in the face of reality, but I have a dream… of sanity…

This is an early animation by Terry Gilliam, from Christmas 1968. Laughing Squid posted it to Tumblr this morning.

Every since my brother introduced me to Monty Python when I was about eight, I’ve been enamored with highly visual absurdist humor. And I especially adore Terry Gilliam’s ability to upend our assumptions of space, time, place, scale, and intention.

This was also why I loved the original Pink Panther cartoons, Ren & Stimpy, and Ralph Bakshi’s Mighty Mouse. And, of course, my all-time favorite film, Brazil (by Terry Gilliam, of course).

We live in an unpredictable world, where meaning shifts drastically as context changes. We’re forever falling into a new picture frame, and parts of other pictures intrude rudely upon ours. Laughter is the best way to stay afloat amidst chaos. And there is always, always chaos.

And with that, happy holidays, all!

Case in point: Here’s a screenshot of a link that one of my Facebook friends shared, which I tried to click on:

shared link

Click to enlarge.

When I tried to click that link, here’s what I got:

yahoo FB app request

Click to enlarge

No, I don’t want to install that stupid app. But this request gave me no option to just follow the link — neither in this window, or when I hit “cancel.”

#sharing #fail

I just went under account settings -> privacy and worked my way through the list. Under “apps and websites,” I saw several dozen sites and apps listed that could connect to my Facebook account. Most of them I never use or didn’t even recognize. So I went through deleting Facebook access to all but about 6 services I currently use in conjunction with Facebook.

One of these services was Scribd.com — which I sometimes use to post documents that I want to be shareable and embeddable.

I figured that these Facebook connections with sites and apps mainly enabled easy sharing from those sites to Facebook. But apparently I figured wrong.

After I finished this exercise on Facebook, I had an e-mail from Scribd.com saying that my account there had been deleted.

Huh?

Granted, they gave me an easy option to “restore” my Scribd.com account — which basically meant creating a new username and password. I did that, it seems to work.

But…

I checked, and this process broke existing embeds of my Scribd.com documents.

That’s right: I now have to go back and redo in a few different blogs all the embeds of my Scribd.com documents that I’d previously created.

And that’s just wrong.

I’m assuming that I probably made the mistake of using my Facebook login to create my Scribd.com account in the first place. Which goes to show how problematic it is to rely on Facebook to create an account, or log in to an account, anywhere else. I don’t actually recall whether I first created my Scribd.com account with my Facebook login, I’ve had my Scribd account for years. But it’s possible I did that. Lesson learned.

Scribd.com, I hope you fix this issue. I didn’t see this coming, and I’m annoyed.