|“I’m taking notes on all those people who are sitting over there.”
“Because I’ve seen them and I want to remember them!”
I learned a lot from the recent hiatus of Contentious. Mostly I learned that I really do need to have this blog. It’s not just my voice, and a key source of my sense of connection.
It helps me think. I mean that quite literally.
I didn’t plan to put Contentious on hiatus. It happened because switching hosts and upgrading to the latest WordPress caused a lot of technical glitches. I had good help fixing many of them, but some of them would take more time and effort than I had available. I felt overwhelmed, and was embarrassed to blog when the site was having problems. I felt like I “should” fix those problems first, and then start blogging again.
Bad, bad strategy. Basically, this led to the accumulation of a lot of guilt, shame, and frustration. So even though I wasn’t posting and I was avoiding fixing the tech glitches, I was thinking about Contentious every day — and seeing it as a problem, not an outlet or resource.
When you start seeing your blog as a problem, that’s a big problem. It means it’s time to either change what you’re doing, or stop. I knew I didn’t want to stop, I just couldn’t find the motivation to keep going in the face of shame and guilt. Finally, with encouragement from some smart women at BlogHer, I decided to just keep going.
All of this reminded me of Harriet the Spy…