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(NOTE: This is part of a series of postings in which I published the results of my informal survey on people’s comfort zones regarding the overlap of professional and personal information online. More about this survey. Overview of numerical responses.)

Now we’re starting to delve into the truly sensitive and intriguing part of the survey – mentioning personal information that might be construed as non-mainstream, taboo, controversial, or “tangentially sexual.”

SURVEY QUESTION 4: In one weblog you read mainly for business reasons, the author mentions in a posting that he is gay. Your reaction:

The big news here is that mentioning on your professional blog that you’re gay is somewhat risky – but probably not as risky as you might imagine. Still, such a non-mainstream and potentially controversial disclosure should be made in a relevent, gentle context, and considered carefully. Know your target audience.

CAVEATS: All of this depends, of course, on whether survey respondents are being honest – and if you consider informal, self-selected surveys of any use at all.

Here are the responses for this question, and my initial observations about them…

Of the 176 respondents:

• 46 (26%) said: POSITIVE: I always like to know more about the person behind the blog.
• 38 (22%) said: NEUTRAL: I have no reaction to this disclosure. (This includes one “other” response that said “No reaction positive or negative.”)
• 25 (14%) said: STRONGLY POSITIVE: I’m glad that the author is confident enough to be “out.”
• 24 (14%) said: Other
• 14 (8%) said: DISINTERESTED: (However, the first 30 responses were gathered before I added this option to this question, so this answer may be somewhat under-reported. Two early responders specifically said “disinterested” in their responses under “other.”)
• 14 (8%) said: EMBARRASSED: I’m not repelled, but it seems somewhat inappropriate, especially in a business setting.
• 8 (5%) said: RELIEVED/GRATEFUL: I too am gay (or am close to someone who is) and now feel a bit less alone or ashamed because of this blogger’s admission.
• 3 (2%) said: REPELLED: That kind of personal information has no place on a business weblog.
• 3 (2%) said: SCANDALIZED/NERVOUS: Homosexuality is shameful/taboo and should never be openly discussed, especially in a business setting.

WRITE-IN “OTHER” RESPONSES

Some people’s reactions didn’t fit the categories I offered. Here’s how they described their reactions.

• Once again context….If disclosing they are gay has nothing to do with the topic of discussion I would be disinterested and confused by its mention, on the otherhand if such disclosure is relevant to the topic and perspective it offers I would be quite interested…
• Unless it is a HR related blog where this information is pertinent, it’s, well, not pertinent.
• Being gay, it is not a problem for me.
• Again, if it is directly related to the professional discussion, maybe OK.
• This would be the same as a “straight” person mentioning that they are straight. The reaction would be positive. It would have to fit into the context of the post, otherwise it’s the equivelent of “Repelled.”
• Again, why is the disclosure being made? I worked with someone who loved to talk about the company I worked for as a “gay company.” Why? Because he and two others were gay. I didn’t get it. What was the point? I did not join the company because he was gay, and did not think we were doing “gay” work, even though the company had many clients in the “gay community.” Some people mention it as if it’s a chip on their shoulder. Others just mention it in passing. I guess the more political the statement is, the more put-off I am in a business context. But in a personal context, I really do not care, and in fact feel good that the person feels comfortable enough to disclose.
• If it’s in context – e.g. posting about personnel benefits and writer provides personal anecdote – it’s OK. Otherwise, save for personal blog.
• It’s one thing if hes been “out” for sometime and when he mentions it in the blog, it’s fairly casual because it’s just part of who he is at his business. If he chooses to make a big deal about “coming out” on a business blog, especially for more than one post, I’d question his judgment.
• It depends on whether it illuminates the business positions that he or she has taken.
• Mostly neutral, though I might pause, think “interesting,” and continue reading.
• If it is relevant, I like to know more about the person behind the blog otherwise I’m disinterested.
• Personally I am against homosexuality. I do not discuss my opinion on it unless specifically asked. If an individual is seeking a business relationship with me, they will have a better chance not mentioning their homosexuality.
• It depends on the context. Sexual orientation shouldn’t matter one way or another, but if talking about it isn’t germaine to the subject at hand, then don’t mention it.
• No reaction positive or negative. Being gay is a choice, many may choose to not disclose it for discrimination purposes. I wouldn’t want anyone to be discriminated against but maybe the blogger wouldn’t want to work with someone who wouldn’t want to work with them because of their sexual preference.
• I am very glad that the author is confident enough to be out, and feel strongly positive towards having diversity visible in general in the media, but if this posting is done trying to push that information at the reader without any relevance to the business topic of the blog, then I’d also skip those posts, and feel that that wasn’t so appropriate. Posts which e.g. mention something like “my partner brought in the fresh supplies, and he…”, I wouldn’t think anything of it. In other words, it is possible to be pro- a topic, but anti- it being out of place. I tend to feel the same way when people clutter up electronic mailing lists with off-topic postings. I have nothing against the off-topics per se but I don’t like the topics straying where they shouldn’t be, because it wastes my time.
• CONCERNED: In certain environments, a disclosure is equivalent to asking for trouble.
• I’d initally be, “hmmm. who knew?” But would probably be watching to see if a) there are more posts with an agenda that interferes with my enjoyment of the blog, in which case I might dump it; or b) if the blog stays on target for my needs but experiences backlash (in context with my industry) then I’d pitch in with more links and analysis on their posts on my own blog.
• It might add value, it might help to understand why he is posting something in a special direction, but usually this is not like the one before [stamp collecting]. I am not embarrassed by that (I am not American and therefore probably have less problems with sex at all), but it goes into the “does it provide me with a benefit?” if not, it is just plain not interesting.
• Depends if its relevant to the context
• Again, it has to be relevant. although I’m sure to gain some insight from people who have different perspectives and since I would respect them already through their blog, I would be more open to what they have to say.
• and….
• If it’s relevant to the rest of the post, then it’s appropriate. If not, I can’t see why it would be mentioned.

AMY’S OBSERVATIONS ON THIS:

• Most of your online audience probably doesn’t care whether you’re gay. In all, 75% of responses to this question ranged from disinterested to strongly positive. Also, most of the “other” responses (above) indicated relevence concerns.
• Relevence is key. As the “other” responses for this question (above) and indeed throughout this survey indicate, the online audience mostly cares about relevence. If you wish to disclose anything personal in a business context, find a way to work those mentions in naturally with your primary topics. Usually that’s not too much of a stretch – life and work often resonate on many levels.
• Start gently. If you choose to disclose something sensitive or controversial, and you don’t wish to ruffle too many feathers, you’re probably better of to keep the first mention very low-key and relevent. Mentioning anything unusual or controversial for the first time always tends to attract attention, no matter how gentle and relevent the presentation. You’ll probably get some initial response or raised eyebrows. Someone will probably accuse you of pushing a particular “agenda.” Just ride that out, and see how it goes over time.
• Prejudice is real, but usually disguised. Gay people are concerned about being “out” in a professional context for a reason: they do get discriminated against. Rarely is this prejudice stated flat-out: if someone is opposed to homosexuality, it’s not difficult to invent socially palatable excuses not to hire gays or read their weblogs. So if you do disclose that you’re gay, you probably will lose some readers because of that. Just don’t expect anyone to admit that to you.
• Being “out” might even increase your audience. It strikes me as significant that 45% of responses to this question ranged from positive to strongly positive, yet only 12% of responses were specifically negative (plus a couple of clearly negative responses under “other”). The thing about being “out” (public) about any non-mainstream or controversial personal characteristic is that it generally indicates confidence and integrity – extremely desireable qualities in any business or professional setting.
• Your disclosure can support others in need. Prejudice thrives in darkness and silence. People with some unusual or controversial aspect of their identity often live under the shadow of isolation – an inherently vulnerable position. In this survey, so far 5% declared a “relieved/grateful” reaction to this disclosure. Specifically, they resonated with the statement, “I too am gay (or am close to someone who is) and now feel a bit less alone or ashamed because of this blogger’s admission.” Now, 5% doesn’t sound like a big number, but to people in marginalized communities who may have personally experienced isolation and/or prejudice, that could be a very important 5% to reach. It’s about people, after all – not just numbers.
• Expect any controversial disclosure to be called “activist.” Based on my conversations with bloggers who have disclosed personal info (including in some business blogs), and based on many of the write-in responses to Question 8, it seems to me that going public with any sensitive personal information often involves some measure of activism, even slightly. Whether or not that’s part of your conscious motive for disclosure, expect both praise and criticism on that point.
• Putting prejudice in perspective. We typically consider “prejudice” and “bigotry” in terms of hot-button issues such as race, gender, sexual preference, religion, age, political leanings, etc. However, in my experience in the professional realm, I’ve more often witnessed professional prejudice. For instance, some tech pros definitely discriminate in hiring against people who, say, like Java or Linux or Windows. Some journalists and attorneys distrust and eschew colleagues who disagree with them on matters of practice. Educators, scientists, and scholars can be notoriously cliquish and exclusive on a broad array of issues. And then there’s the universal matter of prejudice based on personality type. To me, these kinds of prejudices often seem to outweigh social “hot button” issues in professional settings. Disagreement and difference are rarely comfortable, after all. Also, everyone is entitled to make his or her own personal judgements. A level playing field is a fine objective worth pursuing, but it’s folly to think that prejudice of any kind will someday completely disappear. Diversity and friction are constant companions, I think. So we each find our own way to deal with that reality.

NEXT: Disclosure of religion
PREVIOUS: Disclosure of a hobby
Index to the survey results.
Overview of numerical results.
About this survey.