A little more than a month ago, I wrote about how it seems to me that we’ve recently left the “Information Age” and have entered the “Connection Age.”
I’m only just realizing what a big deal this truly is…
I’ll be honest – this past month has been hellish for me in many ways. Just lots of personal-life-gone-awry stuff, I won’t bore you with the details and I’m not looking for sympathy or pity. The one bright spot has been the launch of the I, Reporter project – with the steadfast help and buoyant enthusiasm of my friend and colleague Adam Glenn.
Normally I wouldn’t mention something so personal here, but I wanted to note this: In a time when some of the closest people to me ended up not able to offer me much connection or support (I’m not blaming them for that, life just works out that way sometimes), I was able to turn to – and be very open with – some friends whom I know mainly from the online world. And we’ve all gotten to know each other much better in the process.
I know online friendships get derided, devalued. and mistrusted quite often in public discussion. And in many cases, that’s warranted. Some people do misrepresent themselves online, or have ulterior motives, or turn out to be dilettantes rather than friends, or are just plain crazy or scary. There is ample reason to be cautious online.
That said, if you never give yourself the chance to really get to know someone, even if you live far apart and will probably never actually meet in person, you’re missing out. It’s a risk, I know. And I’m not saying you should completely bare your heart and soul, risking great personal or emotional harm. But if you experiment with trusting, bit by bit, you’ll discover that there are many good people online, too. And you will end up honored to have some of them in your life.
I’m talking about one-to-one connections here. Online communities and forums are fine as far as they go, but in my experience they rarely live up to their supportive, constructive potential. Someone in the group discussion always has to know better, or make blanket judgements, etc. Those behaviors have more to do with posturing and theorizing than making human connections. Therefore, I haven’t been greatly impressed with the quality of many personal-issue “support” forums.
…But I have made some very good online friends, especially in the last year. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank them (they know who they are) for their understanding, insight, good humor, and compassion. I hope I can return the favor. And I’m glad I didn’t underestimate from blind mistrust what they had to offer.
Occasionally, personal risks can be worth it. In fact, to not take any personal risks (online or elsewhere) is probably the surest path to isolation, boredom, and insanity.
In my experience, of course.
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